Casual Chat: Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

The last Harry Potter film just crossed the billion dollar mark at the box office. So we both thought it was a good time to finally post something on this blog again and so why not talk about what we each thought of the final film of the boy wizard?

Aki: So… Harry Potter 7 or 8 or 7.5?

Ryan: Well, the official name is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2, which is just all kinds of long

Aki: Seriously.

Ryan: Where to begin?

Aki: Snape was so hot. Like I almost can't believe it.

Ryan: Well, you're very much into suffering men, so that wasn't such a surprise.

Aki: Yeah, but the crying... sexy.

Ryan: I thought the crying was a bit too much myself. Felt a bit forced.

Aki: No way, he was breaking down. He was a person for once... not just a frowning idiot. So sexy!

Ryan: Sure. I just wished they did a better job in previous films setting it up, but I guess that's not REALLY the fault of THIS film.

Aki: They made him a hard-ass in all the previous films and books with a very strange pedophilic obsession with Harry. Now we know why. Because he cries and he’s sexy! Kind of…

Ryan: He's definitely a complicated character, but I rather the reveal had been a bit more organic. Now, I personally think Daniel Radcliffe has never been better.

Aki: He was good. I didn't like how he was smiling at the end walking through a makeshift hospital full of dead and dying people. I was like, okay sure, your 7-8 year ordeal is over, but have some respect!

Ryan: I don't quite remember him smiling. But if he was, then it was probably more to the effect of “HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY MADE IT OUT ALIVE.”

Aki: Moving on, I AM disturbed that Harry Potter is constantly being called the film (film series) of our generation. Especially when Harry Potter’s world is so dangerous.

Ryan: It’s a series that’s been around for nearly two decades in book or movie form, so it was bound to be called that. Plus I don’t think their world is more dangerous than ours.

Aki: Magic is way more dangerous than terrorists!

Talking About the Oscars

We didn't see the ceremony together, but we definitely had something to say about this year's ceremonies. In summary though, the hosts were uninspired, the winners were charming, but predictable, and Kirk Douglas pretty much stole the show. More below...

AKI -- So at about 10:00pm, I was so bored by the Oscars I started washing dishes. Oh, Franco and Hathaway tried... well Hathaway tried. Franco looked like he had indigestion. Dear Academy, cause I know you read this blog, please oh please bring back the comedians. Comedians aren’t just funny, they know how to hold the attention of the crowd, respond to whatever is happening and keep the show moving. Bring back the professionals! The Oscars should not be amateur night.

The show aside, the major awards were pretty predictable. Natalie Portman was cute and Colin Firth was hot and they both seemed generally touched by winning. I love Aaron Sorkin to death and I’m glad he won adapted screenplay. I don’t like Christian Bale (and he totally forgot his wife’s name), but everyone knew he was going to win Best Supporting Actor. Melissa Leo earned my respect by dropping the f-bomb and being completely distracted by everything around her during her speech because that is exactly what I would do.

I loved The King’s Speech but best picture? Really? It’s not even about predictability. The best picture should be the film of the year that moves the ever-evolving entity that is cinema forward. Sorry, but it isn’t enough to be a really good film. To win, you have to be a really good innovative film. Inception or The Social Network should have won. Inception because it threw away conventional storylines, created an entirely new reality and, most importantly, assumed that the audience was smart and made them work to figure out what they were seeing in front of them. The Social Network because it took a close look at who we are as a generation and where we are as a society. It wasn’t a flattering assessment; it was petty and empty and disgusting and completely honest. It made me angry and I loved that. I love when a movie evokes that kind of emotion; it’s like listening to good punk music. The people who voted for The King’s Speech are dead inside. Okay, that’s was a little extreme.

On a more positive note, the best moment of the night was by far Kirk Douglas giving out the Best Supporting Actress award. I don’t know why people say this moment was uncomfortable. He’s old so his delivery is a little slow, but he was hilarious and energetic. Maybe he can host next year.

RYAN -- When it was announced that the Academy had unexpectedly chosen James Franco and Anne Hathaway to host, I was initially worried, but quickly applauded the balls they had to think outside of the box. Plus Franco and Hathaway are young, hot, and would surely bring a different energy to the ceremony. That was the problem. Their energies weren't in sync with one another. While Franco was stuck on the basement floor of boredom, apathy, and/or cold feet, Hathaway tried to compensate by getting more and more enthusiastic and excitable as the night went on creating a generally uncomfortable energy between the two that permeated the whole ceremony.

They both weren't helped by the clunky structure of the show where each set of categories had to be tied in to some historic cinematic milestone that, while informative, wreaked havoc to the flow. And as much as I loved Kirk Douglas expertly hamming it up, his act most likely set everything behind and set the tone for the rest of the evening.

The winners themselves were absolutely delightful, but ridiculously predictable, which made the ceremony a bit dull. Of course it was still great to see Colin Firth and Natalie Portman deliver heartfelt and emotional speeches with both also looking like winners if I do say so myself. Another favorite speech came from David Seidler who dedicated his win to stutters everywhere,. I'm also happy that despite all of the drama that they've both endured, either from the past or more recently, both Christian Bale and Melissa Leo won. I was a bit sad that Banksy's Exit Through the Gift Shop lost as I would've loved for him to have done something, but alas it wasn't meant to be. As for The King's Speech winning the top prize, I'm largely okay with it despite it not being my personal choice which would've been The Social Network, Black Swan, or Inception. I don't begrudge the Academy one bit unlike other years where my favorite have not won, because in this case it still went to a truly worthy film.

To end, just some of my favorite things/moments from the show: the Best Picture montage to open the show as well as the latter one to present the nominees, the Inception-movies skit from the beginning, the presentation of Original score, Hathaway singing to Hugh Jackman (get them both in a musical now!), and finally, the whole auto-tune montage (hilariously brilliant!).

Review: I Am Number Four

I AM...NEVER GOING TO SEE ANYTHING BY ANYBODY WHO WAS INVOLVED IN THIS MOVIE EVER AGAIN.

I Am Number Four
Director: D.J. Caruso
Date of Release: February 18, 2011
Reviewed by: AKI

So now that the Oscars are all done with and we have celebrated the best movies of 2010, lets look forward to the award season of 2011-2012.

I AM NUMBER FOUR will, without a doubt, be up for a few Razzies. This is, after all, possibly the worst movie ever made.

We follow John Smith (Alex Pettyfer), a teenager who moves to a small town called Paradise who has trouble fitting in because he is an idiot… and an alien. He falls for the pregnant chick from GLEE (Dianna Agron) only in this movie she’s not pregnant, she's an artsy pseudo-photographer named Sarah. John barely has time to deal with the adolescent drama surrounding Sarah and her jocky ex-boyfriend when the aliens that wiped out his home planet come along. The bad aliens are on earth looking for 9 special aliens from John’s planet. For some reason, these bad aliens with big feet and sharp teeth are killing these special aliens in order. In order of what they never really say, but they have already killed three and John is number 4.

At the five-minute mark, I leaned over to my friend and apologized for dragging her to yet another bad movie (the other was THE EAGLE). For it is about five minutes into the film where we are given a cheesy circa-80s voiceover telling us John’s life story which is frankly quite boring for an alien. It is all embarrassingly lazy screenwriting.

A third of the way through the film, John begins to discover that he has superpowers. There’s no reason why he shouldn’t have suspected before since, you know, he is from another freaking planet. We can only guess he discovers his powers now because now he knows he is in a movie.

So we trudge along with horrible special effects, a forced love story, a geeky abused kid, a dog that turns out to be an alien and an Australian chick who looks like Kristen Stewart (Teresa Palmer) who reveals she is number 6. I would explain all this further but why? It would be a waste of space even for the Internet. All you really need to know is this:

The bad aliens find out where John is, they tear up the town, kill people and release hell on earth. What does John do? He runs away and goes to a dark room to develop a roll of film and share a sweet moment with his pseudo-artsy girlfriend. Yep, I began rooting for the bad aliens. So what if they want to wipe out all humankind and take over earth? They also want to kill John and that makes us friends. Besides, maybe earth should be wiped out if we keep making pedestrian movies like this.

RATING: ---- That's right! Nothing! This movie doesn't deserve a star or apple or a screen to be played on. Too bad the film actually has a decent soundtrack. Really Kings of Leon? You won't lend your music to Glee but you lend it to this pile of rancid vomit. And Adele...you're breaking my heart.

Ranking the Best Picture Nominees

We know it's been awhile since we have updated this blog, but we're diving right back in and immediately talking about the Oscars which is happening next weekend. More specifically, we're going to each list and rank rank the Best Picture nominees we each have seen and share with you our brief thoughts on them.


1. Inception - Blew my freaking mind!!! In an age where Hollywood plays it safe and turns books with an established fan base into movies, this totally fresh thriller from the warped mind of Christopher Nolan gives hope to screenwriters who want to get back to writing rather than just adapting. Unfortunately, it may be too imaginative for Oscar voters.

2. The Social Network - It’s the film that sums up a generation and does the job so heartbreakingly well. Its intelligence and cleverness oozes from of its well-crafted seams. We could have a big upset against The King’s Speech on our hands. Sometimes, the Oscars like films that are little time capsules of the period and The Social Network is definitely a snapshot that should be floating around on someone’s Facebook page.

3. The King's Speech - I dare you not to be transfixed by every single performance on screen. This is the stuff the Academy lives for and the movie will probably walk away with Oscar Gold. Predictable? Yes, but for once the predictable choice actually deserves to win. I mean, have you seen this flick? It is pitch-perfect.

4. Black Swan - Ballet. Mirrors. Women turning into swans but really just turning crazy. This film lived up to all the hype, but it won’t take home Mr. Oscar. It lacks a certain amount of pseudo-sophistication and self-importance for the naked gold man. Oh well, it will certainly go down as a top-tier thriller.

5. Toy Story 3 - I’m not ashamed to say I totally cried. TS3 is a perfect example of how intelligent and complex films can be even if they are aimed at children. It won’t win the Oscar, but it does contribute to the renaissance that seems to be happening right now in the Animation industry.

6. True Grit - To tell you the truth, I was expecting a bit more. Westerns are epic little adventures and this tries to be, but falls flat. However, the performances were great and major props to the Coen Brothers for bringing back the old west.

7. 127 Hours - I have this thing about bones breaking…I don’t like it. When I hear a crack it’s like someone jammed a pencil all the way in my ear, my body goes rigid and I winch in pain. I’m sure this was a good movie. I was too busy covering my eyes and ears to really know.

8. The Kids Are All Right - Seriously, why is this film nominated? It was just all right (see what I did there?). Break it down and it is a formulaic Indie flick. Too bad…the topic of same-sex couples, their children and the entire concept of a modern family deserve a more innovative and heartfelt examination.


1. The Social Network - Actually don't buy the whole "movie of a generation" hype, but I do think it's the best movie of the year anchored by an excellent script and an amazing 1-2 punch in acting with Jesse Eisenberg and Andrew Garfield. It's most certainly a modern classic.

2. Black Swan - Darren Aronofsky has mastered the genre of "mindfuck movies" and it's a testament to him and to the hard work by an absolutely divine Natalie Portman that this film works in so many levels. Special kudos to all of the other fierce ladies in the ensemble who not only supported Portman, but enhanced the film.

3. Inception - Not only was its cast probably the best ensemble out of any film this year, but the story itself was just so unique that I can't help appreciate the risks director-writer Christopher Nolan always seems to take with all of his films. Just an excellent and highly imaginative piece of cinema.

4. Toy Story 3 - I could talk about how well made the film is, but with Pixar isn't that always a given? Instead I'll just off-the-bat say that I have no shame in admitting that I cried a lot during this film and that's pretty much all I have to say on that along with my heartfelt adieu to a magnificent trilogy.

5. 127 Hours - The fate of this film heavily rested on whether or not James Franco had it in him to deliver this performance and thankfully he achieved it brilliantly. You wouldn't think that a film about a guy stuck in a canyon would be riveting and exhilarating, but Danny Boyle's frenetic style and Franco's passion made it happen.

6. The King's Speech - Even with a largely predictable (but no less affecting) story, the cast elevates the whole film by pretty much owning their roles. In fact Colin Firth was just downright genius in his role as the reluctant stammering king and his ability to overcome his struggles was just inspirational.

7. True Grit - Being not a huge Western fan, my expectations for this film was fairly low, but the Coen brothers proved me wrong by unspooling such a wonderful vengeance tale headlined by the lovely debut of Hailee Steinfeld who more than held her own against veteran actors.

8. The Fighter - I generally like boxing movies, but with a cast as brilliant as this one had, it wasn't hard to love the film. The whole feel of the film felt so authentic and the love the filmmakers and actors had regarding the story they were telling was palpable with every scene.

9. The Kids Are All Right - What made this movie for me were the fantastic performances by the kids who probably should've been given more screentime than their adult counterparts, who weren't bad at all, but their story were less interesting to me. With that said, Julianne Moore and Annette Bening were wonderful together.

10. Winter's Bone - If I'm being completely honest, I found this film haltingly slow and oddly cold despite the emotional journey its characters had to go through. With that said, this film was chock full of character actors being damn good and that's no easy task.

Looking back at the results, it's interesting to see that our rankings for the most part lined up with one another. We both really enjoyed The Social Network and Inception and we both expected a lot more from The Kids Are All Right while the rest of the films were scattered in the middle. One of these days we're going to have wildly differing opinions to feature in this blog. That is a promise.

Review: Easy A

Easy A
Director: Will Gluck
Date of Release: September 17, 2010
Summary: After a lie of her losing her virginity spreads around school, girl next door Olive decides to use this to make herself more popular with expected hilarious results.

AKI: I totally want to sew an “A” on every piece of clothing I have and maybe dye my hair red and wear slutty outfits. “Easy A” is the best teen flick I’ve seen in a long time…perhaps since “Bring It On” (the first one, all the others are crap). Emma Stone (as Olive) has excellent comic delivery, and unlike some self-centered comic characters, you actually like her and feel really bad for her when her phony-sex plan starts to backfire. Her parents, played by Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson, steal the show! You know the type of parents who can make fun of their African-American adopted son but still be funny and loving? I don’t either, but those parents are in this movie and they are awesome! The only downside is that you will choke on the overabundance of John Hughes’ movie references. But for keeping me laughing throughout the entire 90 minutes - Easy A, you are forgiven. * * * * 1/2

RYAN: I wanted to watch this movie because it had a few of my favorite veteran actors such as Lisa Kudrow, Stanley Tucci, Patricia Clarkson and while those two latter actors DO steal the show as the easy-going cool parents, it was relatively newcomer Emma Stone who was the breakout star of the film. The success of the film as a John Hughes-inspired teen-style high school comedy was squarely put on Stone's shoulders and she carried the film spectacularly with her unassuming yet charismatic presence. The film itself had plenty of laughs and heart to fill its 92 minutes of running time. If I had one complaint, it'd be the underdeveloped and broadly written supporting characters (excluding her parents) which were still enjoyable enough. But again, this was a star vehicle for Emma Stone and it was a tricked-out BMW playing Natasha Bedingfield. * * * *

Review: True Blood Season Finale

True Blood
Episode: Evil Is Going On (Season Finale)
Air Date: September 12, 2010
Summary: After a heavenly vision of his dead maker (Godric), Eric decides death may be too good for Russell so he buries him in cement so Russell will be trapped for a hundred years. After Bill tries to do the same to Eric, Eric somehow escapes and tells Sookie what the real deal is with Bill. Their whole relationship is apparently based on lies; Bill was sent by the Queen of Louisiana to seduce Sookie and get at her tasty tasty fairy blood. Sookie is so upset she runs away and finds fairyland where she completely disappears (I know, WTF). Bill promises to kill everyone who knows Sookie is a fairy to keep her safe, which means he must kill the Queen. Jason has to stand by and watch his were-panther girlfriend be taken away by her half-brother/fiancé and he is also put in charge of a redneck village in need. Shapeshifter Sam shoots his brother for stealing. Hoyt’s mother continues to try to save her son from his vampire girlfriend, Jessica. Layfayette’s boyfriend is a witch. Werewolf Alcide may be dead. Arlene still has a serial killer's baby in her tummy. And Tara cuts her hair and totally peaces out, leaving behind this messed-up supernatural backwater.

RYAN: Many people were not a fan of the multiple story-lines that never really verged this season, but I was more than okay with it since none were as tedious as last season's MaryAnn plot. With that said, Jason's storyline with the inbred were-panther white trash came close to getting on my nerves, but thankfully there were other story-lines I could focus on. I'm a huge fan of Jessica/Hoyt so even though I could complain about their limited screen-time this season, their scene in the finale, kissing in their brand new house (with a creepy voodoo doll... eek) was quite nice. Obviously Russell was such a huge part of what made this season great as he played menacing and psychotic with such a joie de vivre that it was quite somber when he was buried in cement where he'll inevitable escape a season or two from now to seek revenge.

Four characters that I have had trouble warming up to in the past, got a great deal more interesting, not just in the finale, but throughout the season. Learning Sam's past and seeing his relationship with his family, more specifically with his brother, has been very interesting and it'd be tragic if he did end up killing Tommy since there's still so much story to tell there. Then there's Bill/Sookie and I've never really been a fan, but the brand new knowledge that Sookie and we, the audience, find out abotu Bill in the end really shakes up the character and their relationship, for the better. Plus if Bill was worried about Sookie's attraction to Eric, he should also keep an eye out for Alcide who is thankfully a series regular next season. Finally, Tara got herself a new haircut and hopefully a new outlook in life. We see her leave Bon Temps in the end and I hope she comes back a new, more determined, woman. Will be very interesting what she and Sookie will talk about since Sookie also left Bon Temps, to another plane of existence, with her fairy family.

Obviously the big storyline next year will be witches which is where Jesus and Lafayette comes in. As sweet as their courting was, I think their storyline was rushed and/or not given enough time to organically developed. With that said, looking forward to what they do next season, and that goes out to all the disparate story-lines as well. * * * 1/2

AKI: So we get Bill fighting the Queen of Louisiana, but we don’t see the bloody outcome. Hoyt’s mother buys a gun, but we don’t see her use it. Since when have cliffhangers been boiled down to simply not bothering to finish story-lines? Oh right... since Lost. Still, shame on you True Blood writers! And I totally can’t wait for next season. I guess your diabolical plan worked. Dammit!!

Generally, I’m excited. Bill is a scoundrel? I love it! Sookie is no longer annoying because she is too pissed off at Bill and vampires in general for using her. Seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if she joined the Fellowship of the Sun. And who the hell knows what Jason is going to do with that village full of dirty people in their underwear. So much weird crap is happening and I can’t get enough. If Jesus descends, reveals his fangs and bites Mary Magdalene on the neck, it would make sense in this screwy world and I would sit and watch. * * * *

Review: The Kids Are All Right

The Kids Are All Right
Director: Lisa Cholodenko
Date of Release: July 30, 2010
Summary: A brother and sister raised by a same-sex couple (Annette Bening and Julianne Moore) find their sperm donor aka father (Mark Ruffallo) and are shocked when he begins a steaming affair with one of their mothers.

AKI: You know every independent film you’ve ever seen that was a dramedy. Yeah…So I’m not saying don’t go see it, but don’t rush to see it cause you’ve already seen it. With that said, it’s not a horrible movie. In fact, it’s quite good. It’s funny…gay even (get it? hehe). It takes a while to get into the characters and their lives, but you do begin to get into them. The film is just not groundbreaking or fresh or anything to write home about in the way you hope it will be. Plus, the ending is not completely satisfying, especially with Mark Ruffalo’s character. It also seems that the screenwriter randomly chose to focus on the daughter (played by Mia Wasikowska) even though she is the least interesting character in the whole film. To prove this, she is virtually absent from the entire middle of the movie because, you know, she sucks. * * 1/2

RYAN: One thing I learned after seeing The Kids Are All Right is that I need to temper my expectations about a film. When I heard that Focus Features was coming out with a film starring Julianne Moore and Annette Bening playing a same-sex couple, I was off-the-wall excited. Then I saw it and well, it was really good, just not amazing, as I had expected. I think most of that had to do with me finding not a lot of interest in the lives of the adult characters as deftly as they were handled by the aforementioned actresses and Mark Ruffalo. In fact, I gravitated more towards the kids played by Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson and the movie seemed to lag for me when the kids weren't on screen. Maybe if they were as developed as the parents, I'd have liked the movie more. So in the end, this movie was just all right, pun intended. Nothing to rave about certainly, but still a film worthy of your time if you can spare it. * * * 1/2

Review: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Director: Edgar Wright
Date of Release: August, 13 2010
Summary: Boy is in a band. Boy has gay roommate. Boy meets girl. Girl has seven evil exes. Boy must defeat seven evil exes to be with girl. Hilarity ensues.

AKI: There are three things you need to know about Scott Pilgrim. First, it’s loud, REALLY LOUD and REALLY BRIGHT. And I’m no bitter old lady banging on ceilings for my noisy neighbor to turn down his breathing, but even I was like whoa, too much stimuli! Bring sunglasses. Number two (get it? hehe): while sitting in a theatre watching Scott Pilgrim, there is a good chance you will be sitting next to or not too far away from Hipsters…always unpleasant. Bring spray. Finally, number three: this movie is awesome! It’s high-larious and a breath of creativity in the blah-ness that we’ve seen at the movies lately. But can you expect less from the director of Shaun of the Dead and the British TV show Spaced? Best of all, it doesn’t even matter if you’re not into retro video games or Michael Cera, it is still a good old time. * * * * 1/2

RYAN: Apparently this is adapted from a popular graphic novel and that's who the movie was marketed towards. For me, I saw it because I'm pretty much an Edgar Wright fanboy having seen and loved his two previous films, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Scott Pilgrim is slightly different in that a) it's not British and b) Simon Pegg is nowhere to be found. And yet Wright's signature frenetic pacing and editing are ever-present and actually lend themselves quite well to this graphic novel-turned-film. I love that Wright fully committed to the video game aesthetics with graphics, sounds, and situations native to video games.

Finally, the characters are just fantastic. Michael Cera seems like a no-brainer for the Scott Pilgrim role even if he is playing Michael Cera. Ramona's exes were uniformly fabulous, but I have to single out Brandon Routh playing bleach-blond telepathic vegan ex-boyfriend Todd Ingram. He just plays the part with aplomb and full commitment. Finally, my favorite character has got to me Scott's gay and a little bit totally slutty roommate Wallace Wells portrayed wonderfully by Kieran Culkin. So in a word, MUST-SEE, that's what this movie is. Run, don't walk, to your closest multiplex. It's by far one of the best movies that came out this summer. * * * * *

Meet Aki and Ryan

What are your qualifications for having a blog?
AKI: I'm unemployed.
RYAN: I have a modicum grasp of the English language. Do you need anything else?

List your 5 favorite films of all time.
AKI: Bonnie and Clyde, The Bicycle Thief, Mildred Pierce, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, A Raisin in the Sun.
RYAN: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Moulin Rouge, Atonement, Billy Elliot, and Lord of the Rings (they count as one!)

List your 5 favorite TV shows of all time.
AKI: The Twilight Zone, Xena: Warrior Princess, Spaced, Rome, Xena: Warrior Princess (Yeah, that’s right. Xena was so good I ranked it twice.), Dexter (Since I don’t have a real #5)
RYAN: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Lost, Doctor Who, Friends, and Rome

What are you currently obsessed about?
AKI: The Pillars of the Earth, The Office (American), and True Blood
RYAN: Inception, Scott Pilgrim, Dexter, True Blood, and Mad Men

Describe Ryan/Aki in 10 words or less.
AKI: Doesn’t like Macaroni and Cheese. I know! So weird...
RYAN: Sarcastic bitch with a heart of gold

Describe yourself in exactly 3 words.
AKI: Black and Blue
RYAN: TV-Film Junkie

What would be the first and second rule of a Fight Club you are the head of?
AKI: No hitting.
RYAN: No clothes.

Would you save the cheerleader to save the world if that cheerleader was Hitler?
AKI: Probably, cause you only have to save the cheerleader once, right? Afterwards, you can hang her.
RYAN: Hell no. Have you seen real cheerleaders? They are crazy strong and uber confident. As if we need a crazy strong, uber confident Hitler doing somersaults or and committing genocide. No.

Would you try to win 20 million rupees at a reality game show to find your one true love? How about just for one-night stand?
AKI: I would try to win 20 million rupees just to win 20 million rupees. Anything else that may come along with it is just a perk.
RYAN: I'd do more for less. True story.

If your life was made into Lifetime movie, what would be the title?
AKI: One woman’s harrowing search for justice against the dog that humped her leg.
RYAN: The Boy Next Door to the Boy Next Door

Pick your sides: Vampires, werewolves, or wizards?
AKI: Normally, I would say Vampires cause I love me some Vampires. But their weaknesses (Sun, Silver, garlic, constant thirst for blood thing) outweigh any positive aspects of being a Vampire. Plus, I’m afraid of the dark…and coffins. So I would go with wizards cause they are all magical and Harry Potterish. Werewolves are stupid.
RYAN: Remember circa late 90s when vampires were actually cool? Now they're all sparkly and gag-inducing. Werewolves are still sort of cool if they're not walking around in hot pants. With that said, I'd probably pick wizards, because of their magic sticks.

The world is ending in exactly 90 minutes, what do you do?
AKI: Kill myself.
RYAN: Drive to the bank and get out as much money as I possibly could. Then I would go to the highest building and scatter the money below. Then I'd probably order some KFC and situate myself somewhere with a really good view. Inviting friends would be optional.

Pitch a TV show or a movie in 140 characters or less.
AKI: BUMBLEBEE REVIEWS MEET XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS, THE MOVIE.
RYAN: Group of teens play Truth or Dare. If someone lies or doesn't complete a dare, they die from a mysterious force.